A Travel To Do List

For quite some time now, I've kept a running list in my head of travel and adventure experiences I've wanted to have.  Here they are, in no particular order.  I anticipate this will be a post I'll update often as new ideas materialize.  And I can't wait to start checking some of these off once Liam gets a little older!

Off the Jamaican coast line during our 2010 honeymoon to Ochos Rios

• Backpack in the woods
• Hike to Macchu Picchu
• Galapagos Islands
• Yoga retreat someplace tropical and someplace woodsy
• Camp in New Zealand
• Scuba dive in Australia
• Iceland
• Hike Mt. Kilimanjaro/Safari in Africa
• Explore Ambergris Caye in Belize
• Alaska/Vancouver/British Columbia
• Northern India (Jaipur/Rajasthan)
• Thailand 
• French Polynesia/The Maldives (I really just want to sleep in a hut on sticks over the water)
• Check out the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA
• Ski in Colorado
• Ski in Jackson Hole, WY
• Ski in Lake Tahoe, CA
• Visit Santa Fe, NM 
• Visit New Orleans
• Explore Idaho
• Explore our canyons and national parks - Grand Canyon/Bryce Canyon/Yellowstone/Glacier NP
• Visit Baja, Mexico
• Explore more of the Caribbean and see all the Sts.   
• And I think I'd like to try a cruise.  Once.  It might not be my thing.  But it's worth a try, yes?   

Husband doing what he loves most while hiking in Big Sur, CA

This post was partly inspired by:

• The Stork and The Bean Stalk
• Sixes and Sevens
• Michelle Gardella's guest post on Artifact Uprising

Accomplishments and Commitments

Sometimes I ask my husband what he'd want to do if money or family commitments weren't a consideration.  I ask myself the same question more often.  Up until Liam's birth last year, I led a very busy life.  One with a lot of friends, social engagements, and work deadlines.  I said yes to most things, and I wanted to experience it all.

And...I did experience a lot.  I traveled Europe by train, performed my flute in South Indian temples, meditated in ashrams, swam in tropical waters, jumped off a mountain in Switzerland,
hiked many trails, and sailed the Greek Islands.  I'm refueled by traveling and being in nature. 

I've also tried to develop personal growth through all of my professional experiences.  I chose my career and jobs based on what I was personally interested in at the time.  These interests change a lot, so my resume is a bit all over the place.  But, I like to think that I'm collecting different skills and bits of experience that will all feed into one end goal one day.  I guess we'll see.

Interlochen, Switzerland - Photo taken while paragliding

I've tried to live my life in a way that makes me happy, and I think each of my choices along the way has been propelled by an inner desire to feel like I've accomplished something.  But when I say yes to everything, I find that I actually accomplish very little, and I lose sight of what my end goals are. A couple of years ago, I worked with a life coach to get my priorities in order.  They are:

• Being healthy (exercising, preparing our food)
• Maintaining a strong relationship with my husband and son
• Having a job that allows me to help and/or mentor others
• Having a sense of place, home, and community
• Building close family and friend relationships

If I had to add two more to the list now, they would be:

• Prioritizing time for free, creative thinking and doing
• Traveling and spending time in nature

Since Liam was born, I've had to step back from mostly everything that didn't include something in the above seven categories.  And to be honest, I'm barely hitting on half of those right now.  But, rather than being busy all the time, life today is very simple and organized around our time to rest.  I'm not currently working, so while Liam is sleeping I undertake small projects around our house, and attempt to reconnect to my creative energies. 

The other day I heard a saying - "That women can do everything; they just can't do it all at the same time."  And for me, that is so true.  I can't do everything that I want to do at the same time.  Life doesn't allow for that.  But, I can and will accomplish everything that's important to me in my lifetime.  I've always wanted to be a mother.  Right now is my time for that. 

PS - This post was supposed to end in an entirely different way, and it's funny how writing sometimes takes you to a place you weren't expecting to end up.  I was planning on listing all the places I want to travel to and adventures I want to experience.  I guess that will have to be done another day. 

A Sleep Story

Hi.  I've been a bit MIA.  Our return from vacation resulted in sicknesses, sleep difficulties, and projects that have kept us very busy.  However, we have managed to have a bit of fun - including some visits to local festivals like the Delaplane Strawberry Festival and Falls Church Memorial Day Parade and Festival. We also started Liam on solid foods, which has been a whole adventure in itself!

Our sleep difficulties made me realize that Liam needed some sleep coaching.  I've avoided this for as long as I could, and kept telling myself that our lack of schedule or predictability was okay.  It was okay if Liam had 30% of his naps on the road, and I didn't mind rocking and/or nursing him to sleep.  That was all fine, until it just wasn't anymore. I started realizing that I was just too involved in Liam's sleep, and I needed to back off so he could learn on his own.  The few times that I did actually see Liam put himself to sleep, he slept so much more soundly and for longer periods of time.  I also began craving some predictability to our day. 

We started our coaching this last weekend, using inspiration from Kim West's Sleep Lady Shuffle.  Within just a few days, I noticed a huge difference.  Liam has begun settling into better sleep patterns, and while he initially protested the fact that we were no longer rocking or nursing to sleep, he now (mostly) falls asleep in his crib after rolling around and finding the position that's best for him.  And we've done all of this without letting him cry it out by himself. 

He's still waking up more than I'd like him to at night (2-5 times), but at least our days are getting more predictability.  I'm hoping that will lend itself to our nights settling into a longer sleep pattern as well. 

This whole process for us has made me think a lot about our culture and how it's related to our sleep and our children's sleep.  I sometimes wonder whether our short maternity leaves and focus on individuality can cause us to push our babies to fall asleep by themselves and sleep through the night before they are developmentally ready to do so.  I don't have any answers, nor do I want to judge anyone else for the choices they make about their children's sleep.  But, these questions kept me from wanting to push Liam into a pattern he just wasn't ready for yet.  Now that we've begun a gentle sleep coaching process though, I have no regrets.  We're doing the right thing for our family, and at the end of the day that's what matters. 

Vacation Moments

We went out of town for a wedding and short 4-day vacation to St. Simons Island, GA.  It was Liam's first flight, and despite us feeling like we brought our entire house with us, everything went relatively well!  Here are a few of my favorite shots from the weekend.

I'm also becoming aware of why I like photography so much - looking back at our photos reminds me of everything that I have to be grateful for.  I love capturing the small moments in our day to day life, and being present to the simple beauty that surrounds us.  

We spent much of the weekend at this lovely home, Villa de Suenos, for the wedding rehearsal dinner, ceremony/reception, and Sunday brunch. 

Friday night's Rehearsal Dinner featured a crab and shrimp boil - Amazing!

Liam took his first dips into the pool this weekend, and despite trying to drink the pool water, all went very well!

And first dips into the ocean!

Liam at 6 Months

Wow, where did 1/2 a year go?  Liam, you started the morning by uncharacteristically sleeping in until 9:30am.  I found myself reflecting a bit on our birth today, probably because it's been 6 months and it feels like such a big milestone.  Although, we have many more milestones in front of us than what is behind us.  We snuggled a bit early this morning when you first woke at 6am, and it was lovely.  I hope we have many more years of napping together.  I'm often reminded of a lesson my yoga teacher taught me - whatever moment you're in, you will never have that moment again.  You'll never take a breath in the same way as you're doing right now.  Each moment that passes is unique and sacred.  I think about that each time I sleep next to you, my dreaming baby.

Growth & Appearance
 
You weighed in at 16 lbs 10 oz today, are 27.5 inches long, with a head size of 17.25 inches.  Everything seems very normal in this department.  You've been rolling like crazy.  I'll put you down on the floor, turn around for a second, and when I turn back you've rolled yourself halfway across the room.  Yesterday, I set you down with your toys (which included a ceramic bowl that you were very interested in), and somehow you moved that heavy bowl about 3 feet.  I'm still not sure how you did that.


You sprouted your first two teeth at 5.5 months old.  It was quite a surprise to us!  One Friday night about two weeks ago, your Dad and I had just settled in to watch a movie, when you woke us with some very painful sounding cries.  This was a distinctive, different cry from your normal fussing when you wake up, and we ran in to find you very upset.  I felt along your gums, and lo and behold there was a sharp thing poking out.  I had just bought some teething gel (not thinking we would use it so soon!), and that helped a bit.  We also gave you some things to bite on, and we nursed, and it all seemed to help you get back to sleep.  The next morning, tooth #1 was visible just above the gum line.  Tooth #2 debuted the next week.  I like how you planned these teeth sprouts to appear on the weekend so your Dad could join in on the waking up fun!

Eating

Still only breast milk.  I know.  I'm sorry.  I think you're ready for solid foods, but I've been a bit noncommittal as to what to start you on and really want to delay changing those solid poop diapers for as long as possible.   I promise we'll explore the food world very soon.

Sleeping

Uggh.  I don't even want to talk about it.  I mean, you're a pretty good sleeper.  But some days it's just really difficult to get you to sleep on your own, without someone rocking or nursing you to sleep.   We'll get you to the point where your eyes are closed and you're very relaxed, and then the minute we put you down in the crib, it's hit or miss whether or not you'll just roll over and go to sleep (the best scenario), or you start kicking your legs and fussing (potentially the worst scenario). 

I haven't felt the need to get us on a schedule just yet (which may be part of our problem), so I kind of just roll with whatever you need and adjust our day if I can.  While we're not on a clock schedule, we are on somewhat of a daily rhythm.  In the morning we get up, get ready for the day, eat breakfast, clean up and make beds, and have some time to play.  The morning is the best time for me to observe you quietly while you play on the floor.  Usually by around 8:30 or 9am you're ready for your first nap.  This lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours.  After the morning nap, sometimes we'll take a walk, run errands, or see friends.  Your 2nd nap starts anywhere from 11:30am - 1pm and again lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours.  We'll nap one more time at around 3:30 or 4, and this is our shortest nap of the day, being anywhere from 30 minutes to 60 minutes.  You're usually in bed between 7:30 and 8:30pm.

Development

You've managed to get your knees up under you and can now successfully rock on your hands and knees.  You scootch around a bit trying to go after toys or other interesting things you find around the house, and sometimes end up pushing yourself backward when you really want to go forward.  We estimate that we have about 1-2 more months before we have to Liam proof the house, so now I have to add "baby gates" to my list of items to research (and hopefully find second hand). 

You've been talking up a storm, and in the past few days have added "blah blah blah, dada, mamama, and lalala to your repertoire.  You also often speak in "dolphin" or "pterodactyl" and screech very loudly.  I'm sure our neighbors are pleased. 

Favorites

You're really into the wood bead and crochet teething/nursing necklace I bought off Etsy, and often pull it so hard that I just take it off, untie it (so it's not a choking hazard), and give it to you to play with.  This occupies at least 30 minutes of your time every day.  That necklace is like gold (if time were currency).  You're also still obsessed with your Indestructible books.  And you discovered grass the other day when we were playing outside.  That's another favorite texture of yours. 


Nicknames

• Toothy (for obvious reasons - see Growth & Appearance)
• Bunny (I don't know why I started calling you Bunny, but when you thump your feet and bounce up and down, it reminds me of a little bunny hopping around)

Books and Songs You Love

•  The bird song from Waldorf that took me forever to learn (you know, the one that starts like "Way up in the sky, the little birds fly high"...
• The lamb book that you got from Easter, mostly likely because the lamb is a finger puppet and sticks out of the book. 

Weekend Moments and Mothers Day Firsts

This weekend was active!  Yoga on Saturday morning blended in to night time challenges with Liam coming down with a cold and waking every 20 (!!!!) minutes.  However, it was my first Mothers Day on Sunday, and a really wonderful day.  I was so happy to share the day with my Mom.  We took a picnic out to the Virginia wineries - a tradition I hope we continue!  

Unforgettable date night on Saturday!

Sunday picnic that we relocated inside the winery to escape the wind

 Naps on the go...

...give us more time to taste wine!

Endings and New Beginnings

Today was our last Parent-Infant class at our local Waldorf school.  It was such a joyful class to be in, and one that both Liam and I looked forward to each week.  I'm sad it's over!  There were two other moms and babies in the class, and it was led by a wonderful teacher.  We spent time each class observing our babies in silence, and watching how they interacted with each other and the various toys scattered about the floor.  Over 2 months, we witnessed each of our children tackle various challenges, explore their surroundings, and sometimes even crawl over one another as they moved about the floor.  And each of us moms learned from one another, shared resources, and made plans to continue getting together now that class is over. 

The class lay a foundation for how I hope to continue interacting with Liam.  I want to always be there to support, guide, and comfort him when he needs it.  But I also want him to learn how to overcome his challenges on his own.  If there is a toy that he wants that's just out of his reach, is he able to figure out a way to get to it without me interfering?  (He's rolling and moving a bit, but not crawling yet!)

When we first came home from the hospital, I honestly did not know how to interact with a baby.  I felt like I had to entertain him constantly when he was awake, and I put a lot of pressure on myself.  Recently I came across a video I took of Liam when he was about 6 weeks old.  I was blabbing to him in the background, but when you look at his face and eyes, you can see how disconnected and tired he was.  He just wanted to go to sleep and I was sitting there holding toys in front of him trying to engage him.

Now when I'm with Liam, I sit with him in silence for a while and just observe him.  I watch how he plays with his toys and how he moves about the room.  Today I watched him as he picked up a toy with his feet and passed it to his hands.  Brilliant!  My engagement with him is led by him.  If he's in the middle of independently doing something, I don't get involved.  Occasionally he'll look over at me, or he'll roll closer to my feet, or look like he wants to be picked up.  I know when he's tired by watching his eyes, and we immediately start our nap routine.  Sleep is another issue (and another post) that we're still working on, but I'm confident that we'll get there. 

I'm fully present when I'm with Liam, and it feels a bit like a meditation.  It's the simplest way to be.  Instead of feeling pressured to entertain him, I'm awed by all that he is discovering on his own.  I also don't feel guilty when I need to get up and work on something else.  Liam is comfortable being by himself for short periods of time, so I'll often leave him in a safe space (that's in hearing and visual distance of me) with his toys while I do laundry, send emails, or prepare a meal.  We've developed a balance that serves both of us, and one that I hope will be the foundation for our lives together.

I'm so grateful to the friends we've met and teachers we've had the joy of learning from.  New motherhood is filled with uncertainty, doubt, and sometimes even regret.  I still have those moments.  And I'm grateful that I have a foundation and plenty of resources to ground me when I get caught spinning thoughts and worries in my head.