A Curved Path

I have hemmed and hawed over whether I wanted to share this bit of news online.  But, I have always said that I feel like it's important to have access to a community (online or in person) when you're going through a challenging medical journey.  And scoliosis is just that - a lifelong journey.  

I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 14; a freshman in high school.  We had just moved to a new area and I was in a new school.  I decided to try out for the track team, as a way to perhaps make a few friends and learn more about running, an activity I enjoyed.  At the required physical before officially joining the team, my doctor said something along the lines of "Okay, you look great, let me just do a quick scoliosis check before you go."  In my mind, I remember thinking, "Oh, right, no big deal."  I'll never forget what happened next.  I bent over slightly so my doctor could get a good look at my back.  There was a long silence.  And then she said, "You have a definite curve, and you're going to need to see an orthopedist."  

I still ran on the track team.  But what followed that initial visit to my general practitioner, was years of x-rays and visits to specialists who told my family that I was on the cusp of having major spinal surgery.  My curve measured, at it's worst, 41 degrees.  The only way to avoid surgery, they said, was to wear a full body brace 24/7.  I could take it off to swim and to shower.  But other than that, I would be in that brace for much of my adolescent years in high school.  I had to buy all new clothes so my pants would fit over the brace.  And I wore sweatshirts to school every day, no matter the weather, so no one would be able to see the bulges of the brace underneath tighter shirts.  I tried not to let my scoliosis define my high school experience, but in many ways, it did.  

Finally, by my senior year, my doctor said that my growth rate and bone maturity had slowed down.  I could stop wearing the brace during the day, and just wear it at night until I turned 18.  By college, that brace and I officially broke our long term relationship.  I remember feeling so free.  And I had avoided surgery thus far.

In college, I started practicing yoga, and learning various stretches and methods to mitigate my pain.  I continued going back to my orthopedist once every year or so, so he could check on my spine.  Luckily, it never got worse.  My last visit to my orthopedist was in 2009.  I had been out of the brace for 10 years.  In my doctor's opinion, he didn't think my curve would progress.  But he also didn't think it would get any better.  

Throughout my 20s, I continued practicing yoga and doing what I could to stay in shape.  I also decided to try out the alternative care provider route, and made my rounds to see chiropractors, myofascial release physical therapists, and a rolfer.  Each of these individuals, in combination with the yoga, helped me to understand the structure of my body, and how to work with my imbalances.  

I also sought out yoga practitioners that specialized in yoga for scoliosis.  Every time Elise Miller Browning came to my area, I signed up for her weekend workshop.  I did the same weekend workshop each year, and learned something new every time.  A few years ago, Elise talked about when she was able to get the most correction out of her spine.  It had been when she was pregnant.  Pregnancy hormones loosen up all the joints in a woman's body to prepare for labor and birth.  So, it's an optimal time to really do some serious body work!  

When it was my turn to get pregnant last year, I had Elise's words in the back of my mind.  I also knew that if I wasn't careful, my spine could get worse during pregnancy, and I would likely end up with surgery.  While pregnant with Liam last year, all I did was work, prepare for his arrival, and practice yoga.  I also regularly saw a chiropractor who specialized in prenatal care.  I didn't know how my back would fare, but I knew that I had to do everything I could do take care of it. 

Flash forward to this past summer.  I talked with my chiropractor, and we decided it made sense for me to get an x-ray.  She didn't pressure the issue, but wrote me the prescription to get it done whenever I felt ready.  I was nervous.  What if it had gotten worse?  So much hinged on this x-ray for me. We're not sure if we're going to have another baby or not, but if my curve did progress with the first pregnancy, I didn't think a second pregnancy would be a good idea. I also knew that I would want to do every alternative modality I could before agreeing to a surgery.  And that is a huge money and time commitment.  Nevermind the fact that the surgery is a year long recovery before you're back to normal.  

But, a few weeks ago, I gathered up my courage, took an hour off work, and marched myself into the radiology center.  I'd slacked on my yoga lately, so I had no idea what the x-ray would show.  It was all over within a few minutes, and as I was putting my shoes on to leave the room, I glanced up at the screen the technician was looking at, where I saw the images I'm posting here.  Granted, there's still a definite curve.  But, in my mind, it looked better from where it was at 4 years ago.  "No, it's just my imagination," I told myself.  

Two days later, in my chiropractor's office, reading the results, we discovered that my curve had IMPROVED by 10 degrees.  I'm happy to say that I'm currently off the surgery track, measuring at a 29 degree curve.  Pregnancy was a gift, in many ways.  It allowed me to work in a dedicated way to achieve a bit of correction.  I still will need to have a lifelong commitment to staying active and maintaining my strength.  But, to have what has felt like a 15 year weight lifted off my shoulder, is such a freeing feeling.  

So, I wanted to share, partly because it's such a big development in my life.  But also because every doctor I've been to in the past 15 years has told me that scoliosis correction is rarely possible once you enter adulthood.  I think my moderate success goes to show how little we really understand about the human body. 

This was also an exercise in letting go for me.  Except for the last year, where my main priorities have really fallen into the category of baby care, I have been extremely dedicated to my yoga practice and had done everything I could to prevent my spine progression.  I can't control the outcome of anything.  But I can control my response and reaction to it.